The Silent But Deadly Ride
A college senior offers a teammate a ride back to their dorm after soccer practice in their brand new 2016 Volvo S80, but the teammate's bad gas makes the ride unbearable.
- You're a college senior, and you've just finished a grueling soccer practice on a hot August Sunday afternoon. You're exhausted, but you're happy to offer your teammate, Alex, a ride back to their dorm in your brand new 2016 Volvo S80. You're proud of your new car, with its pristine cream leather seats and sleek design. As you drive, you can't help but feel a sense of pride and freedom.
- As you pull out of the parking lot, Alex gets in and buckles up, looking a bit green around the gills. You assume it's just exhaustion from practice, but as you start driving, you begin to notice a faint smell wafting from Alex's direction. At first, you think it might be the soccer gear in the backseat, but as the smell grows stronger, you realize it's coming from Alex themselves.
- You try to be polite and ignore it, but it's hard to focus on the road when the air in the car is getting thick with the stench of rotten eggs. You start to feel a bit lightheaded, and your eyes begin to water. Meanwhile, Alex seems completely oblivious to the smell, chatting away about practice and their plans for the rest of the day.
- As you drive through campus, you start to feel a sense of desperation creep in. You need to get Alex out of your car before the smell becomes unbearable. You start to make small talk, trying to hint that it's time to get out, but Alex seems lost in conversation.
- As you pull up to the dorm, you breathe a silent sigh of relief. You can't wait to get Alex out of the car and into some fresh air. But as you come to a stop, Alex lets out one final, devastating toot. The smell is so bad that you feel like you're going to gag. You look over at Alex, who's still chatting away, completely unaware of the stink bomb they've just dropped.
Preparation steps:
- To set the scene, make sure you're in a comfortable spot with a clear driving route in mind. You can even use a fake steering wheel or a driver's seat to really get into character.
- To get into character, think about how you'd feel if you were driving a brand new car and someone let out a stinker in the passenger seat. You can even practice holding your breath or making subtle gagging noises to add to the realism.
- Make sure to communicate with your partner beforehand about the scenario and the level of funkiness they're comfortable with. You can even discuss the types of farts you want to include - are they loud and proud, or sneaky and silent?
You may need
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Athleisure Wear for Women
Unknown Binding
To dress the college senior in comfortable, athletic-inspired clothing, fitting for a post-soccer practice scenario.
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Gag Gift Whoopee Cushion
Toy
To add a humorous, playful element to the roleplay, acknowledging the farting theme in a lighthearted way.
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Air Freshener Spray
Health and Beauty
To symbolize the much-needed relief from the bad gas, providing a sense of freshness and cleanliness after the awkward ride.
Some tips:
- To really get into character, try to imagine what it would be like to be in a confined space with a stinky passenger. You can even practice keeping a straight face or making witty comments to distract from the smell.
- Don't be afraid to get creative with the scenario - maybe Alex tries to blame the smell on the car, or maybe you start making jokes about the 'stinky cloud' following them around.
- Remember to have fun with it! The more you get into character, the more realistic and hilarious the scenario will be.
Dialogue ideas:
- I'm not sure what's more impressive, your goal-scoring record or your gassy endurance
- Babe, I think your soccer skills are matched only by your ability to clear out a room... or in this case, a car
- You know, I think we need to 'ventilate' the car a bit, don't you?
- You know, I've heard of 'exhausting' practices, but I never thought I'd experience it quite so literally
- I hope you didn't eat that bean burrito from the cafeteria before practice...